ZNN: The Unaired Reports
by Berserker88
Summary: On the surface, the Zootopia News Network seems like a highly professional organization. On closer inspection, it is anything but. Taken from the archives of some overly-ambitious roleplayers, join the ZNN staff as they do just about anything except report the news.
1. Session 1

_Hello everyone, welcome to my impulsive new fanfiction idea! As you may know by now, I am a ZNN staff member, and as such, I've gotten to be a part of this wonderful movement to "zooify" every member on board. The result is that quirky little fellow who now serves as my main profile image. :3_

 _Naturally, we at ZNN took this idea to its logical extreme and started doing roleplay sessions with our new characters. This right here is my attempt to turn a bunch of guys doing spontaneous hijinks for laughs into a series of cohesive stories for YOU, the general public. That said, there's a few basic guidelines I have set for myself when starting this:_

 _1\. I will keep each character's dialogue and actions in separate paragraphs in order to get the proper RP feel. It may look a bit awkward at first, but it makes it easier to tell who did what in the session._

 _2\. I will try to keep dialogue unchanged, but I may still make minor edits here and there just to ensure that it makes sense and keeps the flow._

 _3\. I will give a brief description of the characters involved in each session just so those not as familiar with us can know who the heck we're dealing with. Compare those descriptions to the cover image above if you want the visual._

 _And that's about it! I hope you guys have as much fun seeing us make fools of ourselves as we did. :)_

* * *

 **Session 1: A Bump in the Night, or, Horrible Things Happen to Tom's Face**

 **Starring:**

 **Berserker88 as Steven J. Stinkman:** A striped skunk with a penchant for bad jokes and sarcasm. A bit on the dorky side and generally good-natured, but you would be wise not to push him too far. There are two things he always carries around: one is a notepad for documenting anything even remotely newsworthy, the other is a can of his own spray "just in case". He has a habit of throwing scent-related puns into his reporting.

 **Tomlocke as Thomas L. Anderson:** A timber wolf with a knack for music, puns, and being team counselor somedays. Likes to fall into the Jerkass with a Heart of Silver trope. Why silver you ask? Because being a dick to people is just too much fun. Never seen without his necklace, glasses, or multi-layered look.

 **Quirky-Middle-Child as Mason-Dixon Smith:** An adopted prairie dog in a family of bobcats. However, he hasn't come to terms with the fact that he is adopted and believes he _is_ a bobcat. He also has a crush on a coffee shop bartender bunny named "Holly". He's a well-mannered, witty dork who works as an artist for ZNN.

 **Megatred as Jake Meulton:** A black and white tuxedo cat, he prefers being alone and in a calm, ambient environment. He suffers from a small degree of social anxiety, making it harder for him to be with others, and when he is, he prefers to "stay in the back of the room". He tries to avoid conflicts, but if he has to really intervene he will.

 **Shadow9692 as Dominic Faux:** A silver fox who found his way to Zootopia. He's usually pretty laid back, but emotions can get the best of him. He currently leads a double life working for both the ZPD and ZNN. Whether he's wearing his black suit or a police uniform, he always carries a tranq gun and is ready to do his job, whatever that may be.

* * *

"Guys? Uh, guys? I don't want to alarm you, but I think there might be someone breaking into the office."

The skunk's voice rang out through the second floor of the ZNN building. Various employee desks of all sizes were stationed here, with only dim lights and the glow of computer monitors to illuminate the cluttered messes that covered them. Steven was one of four employees still working this late, joined only by Tom, Mason, and Jake. Up until now, it had been a relatively boring night.

The first to react was Tom, who technically didn't even work on this floor. "What?"

"What?" Mason repeated, looking away from his screen.

Steven pointed downward, tilting his head towards the floor below. "Just listen. Don't you hear anything funny? Like, more than the usual night shift ruckus?"

Tom listened closer, and soon picked up a distinct scritch-scratching noise. He quickly jumped from his chair and put an ear to the ground. "It sounds like someone's scratching something."

Steven smiled in spite of himself, pleased that he at least wasn't losing it.

"Yeah, but what do we do?" the timber wolf asked. "What if they take off before the cops get here?"

"Figures that Dom is busy too," Steven added, gulping. "Guess we're just gonna have to deal with it ourselves. Can't just let someone steal our stuff."

Jake looked up from his desk. "Wait, what? Somebody trying to break into the office?" he asked, clearly too absorbed in his work.

Tom looked around at the small group. "Anyone got any ideas? Or like a baseball bat?"

"Should we try and scare them off?" Mason suggested.

"Like I said, baseball bat?" Tom made a swinging motion right over the prairie dog's head.

"Guess we should make sure we're prepared." Steven nodded in agreement. "Everyone, find some kind of weapon."

"But are you _sure_ it's somebody trying to break in?" Jake pressed.

"Well...maybe not..." The skunk laughed sheepishly, as if no other possibility had occurred to him. "Still, we should be ready for the worst."

On cue, Mason dove under his desk and emerged with a fully-loaded squirt gun.

"And if it's just the fax machine on the fritz or something, we can have a good laugh about it later," Steven added.

Tom grabbed the nearest stick-like object, which happened to be the leg from an office chair, and hoisted it over his shoulder menacingly.

Steven just reached into his pocket, paw gripped around a small canister. "I've only ever needed this."

"Alright, who wants to go down first?" asked Mason, brandishing his watery weaponry.

It seemed about time to form a plan of attack. However, fate had other plans.

"Fate" meaning "Tom".

"ME!" The timber wolf suddenly charged out of the room and down the stairs to the first floor, raising his weapon over his head. "LEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOY!"

Steven put a paw to his face. "Oh dear."

"There goes a brave wolf," Mason said solemnly.

"Really hoping it's just the fax now."

"JEEEEEEEEEEENKINS!" The cry rose up from below them.

Mason snapped back to attention. "We can't let Tom take this on by himself, he'll get clobbered! He needs backup, c'mon!" The prairie dog scurried after him.

"Right!" Keeping one paw in his pocket, Steven followed.

''Well, this is how we die.'' Jake was the last to go, still empty-pawed.

Together, they headed down the stairwell.

"FOR ZOOTOPIA!" Mason shouted fiercely.

"THIS! IS! ZNN!" Steven joined in.

"REDWAAAAALL!"

A sharp yip came from below, the distinct cry of a wolf in pain.

"Did you hear that? He needs our help!" Mason ran even faster.

"LOGALOGALOGALO-wha, oh musk! Hang on, Tom!"

Mason finally reached the bottom of the stairs and gasped when he saw Tom.

His sudden stop made Steven bump into the back of him, and the skunk looked over his head. "Oh no!"

Tom was lying on the ground in front of a metal door, a door that they couldn't recall ever having a dent in it, especially not a dent shaped suspiciously like Tom's face.

"Guess he forgot that you _pull_ the door..." Mason sighed.

"Ooooooowww," Tom groaned, slowly getting back up.

Mason crawled up Tom's back, standing on his forehead as he looked him in the eyes. "You okay?"

Tom plucked Mason off of him. "Yeah, just not on my head. I think it's bleeding." He looked around him, dazed. "Since when did we add stars to the office?"

"Uhh, are you _sure_ you're okay?" Jake reiterated.

"Dang it Tom, if you can't beat a door, how are you gonna beat whatever's in there?" asked Steven, shaking his head.

Tom continued staring vacantly. "There are four lights..."

"How many fingers am I holding up?" Mason asked him, concerned.

The wolf titled his head. "Mason, you're holding up your toes..."

"He's fine." Mason put his foot back down, then pulled open the door via the rodent handle.

Undeterred, Tom picked up the chair leg again and proceeded to use the bardic knock spell on the door.

Steven shrugged. "Good enough for me."

As they headed inside, Mason peered into the room. The first floor was built much like the one above, with the exception that there were fewer desks, it was completely dark, and seemingly devoid of life. "Hello...?"

"If there really are dangerous criminals down here, I'm not sure they're gonna answer," the skunk pointed out, looking around nervously.

"Well I was hoping for a polite criminal."

"We gotta be careful," said Jake.

"Sup everyone? I've got a lump on my head and a blunt object so come on out!" Tom challenged.

"Yeah! We may speak softly, but he carries a big stick!" Steven yelled confidently, whilst hiding behind Tom.

A loud, booming voice suddenly emerged...from Mason. "WE GOT THE WHOLE PLACE SURROUNDED, COME OUT NOW!"

Steven flinched. "Yeah, that should do it..."

There was a sudden flash of movement from the corner of the room.

Ears twitching, Tom instantly leapt into action, swinging his chair leg wildly.

"This could be dangerous...Steven, you go first," Mason whispered.

Steven watched as Tom bashed something behind a desk. "Yeah...that might be good."

"Nevermind. Tom, what do you see?"

Tom stopped, suddenly realizing he had been beating nothing but an innocent swivel chair. "I heard something coming from over here, but it might be the ringing in my ears."

"No...I definitely saw something," Steven insisted. "It must have moved."

Mason cautiously walked towards them.

Tom went into whack-a-mole-mode.

Steven tiptoed after them, as much good as that did at this point.

And Jake...did something too probably.

There was a sudden loud crash as a desk tipped over and something ran out from underneath. A few somethings actually. Steven blinked in surprise. "Are those...ferrets?"

Dressed in ratty clothes and scurrying quickly along the floor were roughly a half-dozen thieving ferrets, most of them already hauling off valuable office equipment.

Tom narrowed his eyes. "No...my mortal enemies." With a loud battle cry, he charged after them and started swinging.

Mason smiled. "I love ferrets."

"Ferrets killed my mother!" Tom yelled, going into a feral rage. "Not really, but they did take my lunch money!"

The prairie dog joined in on the epic battle, firing his squirt gun everywhere. "If I die, send my body to Candice as a Christmas gift!" Making a Matrix shot, Mason watched as one of his fleeing targets fell to the slow-mo water.

"Why not Holly?"

"Ferrets? How did they get in here?!" Jake said frantically, trying to keep track of them.

Notepad in paw, Steven put the tip of his air freshener necklace to it, which also happened to be a hidden pen. He giggled excitedly to himself as he wrote. "Of course! Those wiry, flexible bodies! They make perfect burglars!"

"THE FIENDS!" Tom screamed, just barely missing another ferret.

Realizing he should get in on this, the skunk struggled to choose a target. "Uh...uh...I'll take that one!" He rushed towards a random ferret.

"We have to stop them before they steal or break something!" Jake joined in too.

"They're already stolen Tom's dignity," Steven muttered.

"I got one!" the timber wolf announced triumphantly, lifting up an unconscious ferret and stuffing him into his pocket. Then he immediately started swinging at another of the blighters.

Steven managed to corner a ferret, trying desperately to keep him there. "Just hold still buddy, don't make me hurt you."

Mason lunged, grabbing onto a ferret's tail and dragging him to the ground. "I'm holding him down, guys! I got him!"

Lost in the moment, Tom kept whacking vigorously at his prey.

Steven kept his eyes on his own prize.

And Jake...did something too probably.

Annoyed, Mason ran up to the ferret's head and slammed it into the ground, knocking him out.

The ferret Steven had cornered abruptly charged forward, slipping right through the skunk's legs as he tried to grab him. "H-Hey! That's not fair! No mammal should be able to move like that!"

Mason decided it was time for the nuclear option. "STEVEN, USE YOUR SECRET WEAPON!"

Tom cackled and backed away, covering his nose.

Not wasting any time, Mason dove into an air vent and closed it behind him.

Jake looked around uneasily. "Secret weapon? What secret weapon?"

Steven sighed and reached into his pocket, pulling out a small, but dangerous canister. "I tried to warn him." Shaking the can once, he pointed it towards the fleeing ferrets and unleashed skunky hell on them, seeing too late that the tuxedo cat was still in the line of fire. "J-Jake, watch out!"

Tom rushed over and tackled Jake out of the way, covering the cat's face. "Hold your breath," he advised, just before the wave of stink passed over them.

From the safety of the vent, Mason hurriedly dialed 911.

"Sorry, should've warned you sooner," Steven said bashfully. The spray had done its job though, as he watched the four remaining ferrets cough violently and pass out, one dropping unceremoniously off of a light fixture. "But at least that's settled."

"IT'S IN MY EYES! AHHHHHHH!" Tom screamed, rolling off of Jake as he clutched at his tear-soaked eyes. Which also gave the lingering scent full access to his nose. Tom was not having a good night.

The skunk chuckled nervously. "So...who wants a tomato juice bath?"

Tom continued to roll on the ground in anguish.

"I called the cops, they're on their way!" Mason shouted, muffled by the vent. He couldn't help but chuckle at Tom's misery.

Steven put the canister back into his pocket and looked down at his feet. "With great power, comes great responsibility..."

"Alright, who wants to carry out the bodies?" Mason asked. "I'll follow the vents and meet you guys outside."

Tom rushed for the front, resulting in more slapstick as his half-blinded state ended up running right into a wall instead. "IT BURNS US, MASTER!"

"This place sure is a mess now," said Jake, holding his nose as he looked around at the trashed office.

"Try your best, I think I hear the sirens." Mason slid down the vent tunnels.

Steven grabbed two ferrets by the tails and dragged them out while Jake probably took the others. "Brought this on yourselves, guys. Just saying."

By the time they reached the front doors, Mason had emerged from the outside vent cover and pulled open the doors for them. They emerged onto the sidewalk, still in the dead of night.

Somehow, Tom had made it out as well. "I can see my eyes behind my eyes..."

He kept whimpering in pain as Steven patted his back in comfort. "At least you protected Jake. You can feel better about that."

Jake smiled up at him. "Yeah, thanks for that. I owe you one."

"Everything is red..."

"Miiiiiight wanna call an ambulance for Tom," Mason suggested, dialing up 911 again.

No sooner did he finish that second call then the result of the first showed up. A large police cruiser pulled up in front of the building and out stepped Officer/Inside Agent Dominic Faux. "So, you guys got in trouble while I'm out of the office, huh?"

Mason shook his head. "You always miss the fun, Dom."

"Seems like it. If I were here, I could've tranq'd them all. That wouldn't have been very fun though."

Steven shrugged. "I basically tranq'd them anyway."

"You've gotta help me copper, I'm going blind," Tom pleaded, pawing at Dominic's face.

The fox's expression did not change. "Ambulance is on its way, Tom. I just showed up first is all." He looked to the others. "None of 'em got away into the vents or anything, right?"

"Mason was in there. He would know," said Steven.

"No one escaped, I closed them all." The prairie dog nodded in satisfaction.

"Did anyone count how many there were exactly?" Dominic asked. "That could tell us just in case."

"I counted a half-dozen, though I'm not entirely sure," Steven admitted, checking his notes. "They were really quick."

"Don't forget Stu. He's the one in my pocket." Tom grinned, patting the unconscious lump in his pants.

Steven raised an eyebrow. "...How do you know his name?"

"I don't. I gave him that name."

"I'll still have my squad close off the scene and search the building either way, procedure and all." He gestured at the arriving squad cars.

Tom still hadn't gotten much better, now curled up into a ball and murmuring, "It burns, it burns, it burns, burn with me..."

"Might want to warn them about the fumes." Steven looked away uncomfortably.

"Alright, then their sweep should be fast." Dominic sniffed at the air and winced. "But judging from the smell, and Tom's state, you'll probably have to be out here for a while."

"Yeah, you all stink," Mason said bluntly.

They watched the arriving officers don gas masks before entering the building.

"Sounds good," said Steven, shaking his head. "After tonight, I don't think I'm crazy about taking night shift again any time soon."

Sirens grew louder again as an ambulance arrived on the scene and paramedics rushed out to help Tom. "OH GOD, WHY STEVEN?!"

"...Let's just get Tom in the ambulance for now," Dominic said, helping with the hysterical wolf.

"Well I'm just glad everything turned out alright." Mason smiled widely.

"I'll never get to see her face again..." Tom groaned from inside the ambulance.

"Except Tom."

 **End Session**

* * *

 _In this session alone, you can see that we fell into various roleplayer stereotypes. I was the new GM on the block trying to make it work, Quirky helped keep things going, Tom just did the craziest shit possible and probably had the most fun, MegaTred came in so sporadically that I made him into a sort of running gag, and Shadow was that guy who shows up at the last second when the session is pretty much done already._

 _All in all, I'm surprised by how well we even managed to stay on track. Get used to the chaos of our antics yet? I sure hope not, because I'm sure there will be much worse to come._


	2. Session 2

_Another day, another RP, this one even zanier than the last! I wasn't around for this one, but boy did I miss out it seems._

* * *

 **Session 2: Bakery Fakery, or, Donut Believe It**

 **Starring:**

 **Quirky-Middle-Child as Mason-Dixon Smith**

 **Shadow9692 as Dominic Faux**

 **Danny Grey as himself:** A mixed breed dog who has an undying passion for making movies. He got his first camera when he was 6 and often records his family and friends during that time, trying to piece out some sort of story. He later got an editing software when he was 14 and slowly developed his skills throughout the years, often watching tutorial videos on Zootube, and inspired by movies like Iron Mammal, Lord of the Lynx, and Harry Potoroo. He later got into ZNN when he made a fan video for them; Andy Lagopus was so impressed that he sent him an invitation email. He's now currently their camera/video guy, trying to capture the best footage as possible for his work, but also records the staff's silly antics. (Note: Danny is not in the cover image. I'll describe him when he appears.)

 **Raphael Luck [BR] as Christopher "Chris" Guará:** A maned wolf who was born in a far away city and now lives in Zootopia, more specifically in Savanna Central. He trains in taekwondo and is a parkour expert, and thus knows Savanna Central and Downtown like it's marked in the palm of his paw, meaning he can find every shortcut everywhere in no time. As his species is often mistaken for wolves or foxes, he hates being called one with a passion. As a member of ZNN, Chris collects information from every corner of the city and works on finding criminals and robbers, because as playful and likable as he may be, he is serious when it comes to justice.

 **Namicle as Jake Skyline:** An arctic wolf that leads a fairly normal life, if you consider dealing in borderline legal endeavors normal. Jake is overall very open and friendly towards everyone, and is not one to hold grudges. He enjoys meeting new people and socializing with others. Jakes is fairly proficient in the handling and shooting of firearms due to his service in the Army. His main interests are music, firearms, computers and cars.

* * *

It was 12:00 on the dot in the ZNN lunch room, and a certain prairie dog was about to begin his break.

"Mmmm, salad, rice and jell-o," Mason muttered happily to himself.

Dominic Faux, on the ZNN side at the moment, stopped as he passed by outside. "Lunch break, my friend?"

"Yep. Have you eaten?"

"Nah, not yet. Pulled too long a shift last night on patrol." He yawned and rubbed his eyes. "A little bit tired too."

Mason pointed across the room. "There's some leftovers sitting in the employee fridge. You can have some of those, if they aren't moldy."

He chuckled lightly. "Yeah, who knows how long those have been in there."

"We could probably turn that fridge into an incubator," Mason laughed along. "Well I brought some donuts for dessert, and I have a plethora of them. You want one?"

Dominic paused, his cop cravings tingling. "You sure you got enough?"

The prairie dog pulled out a box bigger than him. "These are regular sized donuts. I'm lucky to even finish half of one."

"It's almost like you wanted someone to show up," the fox teased.

"I planned to share them, but no one is here at the moment," Mason admitted, holding out the box for him.

"Thanks for the offer." He picked out a donut. "Yeah, it's been pretty quiet around the office today, I'm a bit surprised."

On cue, another staff member walked in, a gray and white dog with floppy ears and a bushy tail, wearing dark blue pants, a white and blue striped shirt, and a brown jacket. "Oooh, donuts!"

"Hey there, Danny," Dominic greeted, biting into his donut.

"I haven't seen you in a while. How are you?" asked Mason.

"I'm doing pretty alright. Just tinkering a bit with my camera," the mutt said, looking over his video camera intently.

Mason took a bite of salad. "Oh? what's wrong with it?"

"Oddly enough, it only records in black and white. Which isn't especially great when I use it almost every day."

"Has it done this since you bought it?" Dominic asked jokingly.

"Not really, it happened recently. Guess imma start recording everything like an old movie."

Mason scurried up onto Danny's shoulder to examine the camera with him. "Is it just the SFX setting, is it stuck in "black and white" mode?"

Meanwhile, Dominic finished off his donut. "Mind if I grab another one, Mason?"

"Go ahead," he waved back, paying more attention to the camera now.

"I checked the settings and it's apparently in 'color' mode," Danny shrugged. "Must be a broken camera sensor. Also, may I have a donut?"

"Sure." Dominic casually tossed a donut across the room into Danny's waiting paw.

"Thanks."

"I guess it's required to love donuts to be a cop," Mason noted.

Dominic chuckled. "Hardly, I'm just really hungry." He took another bite. "But I guess I shouldn't complain, these _are_ pretty good."

"Thanks. I got them from 'Gideon's Bakery'."

The fox raised an eyebrow. "I thought that was only a pie shop."

"I thought so too, but that's what it says on the label." Leaping from Danny's shoulder back onto the table, he flipped over the box to show off the sticker on the bottom. It was indeed a sticker for "Gideon's Bakery".

"Huh."

"At least the donuts are nice. His pies are really good too," Danny said.

"Well color me impressed." Dominic smiled at the label. "I haven't gone there enough, it's some good food."

But as Mason looked at the label a bit closer now, he suddenly realized something wasn't quite right. "Now that's weird...the coloring on the logo is off. It's normally a pink pie as the design, but this one looks more...purple."

Despite not having much luck with colors today, Danny came over to examine it himself. "Hmm, that's strange. Think they ran out of pink ink?"

Dominic's expression turned serious. "Could it be an imitation? Or am I just overthinking it, because I might have to go do my job if that's the case."

"I think you might be right Dominic, the font doesn't match up either," Mason pointed out. "I think we might have an imitating company."

Danny went to his phone and looked up the original logo. "Welp. It's definitely an imitation."

"I guess I really don't get a day off," Dominic sighed. "Where did you get this, Mason?"

"Over on Giraffe Way, next to the bike shop." He tapped a finger against his chin. "Thinking about it now, I really should've remembered his bakery isn't at that address. Should we go bust them?"

"I suppose I shouldn't call my squad before we check the place out ourselves," he said reluctantly, switching to cop mode.

"Woo! Let's go! Finally something exciting today!" Mason hopped up from the table.

"Alright, I'll just take one more of these and we'll be off," Dominic said, grabbing another donut.

"You're eating the evidence!" Mason called him out.

"Hey, I haven't eaten today. And they're not bad donuts."

"You guys think I should bring my camera? Just for 'evidence' purposes?" Danny asked, holding the device up to his eye.

"Sure, Danny." The prairie dog got a sudden stroke of inspiration. "Ooooh, should we have a hidden camera?"

"Actually, I have a bunch of GoatPro cameras," Danny suggested.

"Those will work."

"Then lemme grab those from my workstation. Be right back!" He quickly left the room.

Dominic looked over at Mason. "So you said Giraffe Way, by the bike shop?"

"Yep. South of Hyena Way."

"Course it is."

Danny came back into the room, now holding three GoatPro cameras. "I'm back! So how're we going to hide them?

"You guys'll have to find somewhere you can wear them without arousing suspicion," Dominic advised.

"We can hide one in your chest pocket." Mason suggested to Danny. "I can try and conceal one in my shirt. What about you, Dom?"

"Oh...I've already, uhh, got hidden cameras."

"What?"

"There's a reason I sometimes just show up from the ZPD in my suit."

The prairie dog looked suspiciously at his shirt.

"You won't really be able to see 'em. I'm supposed to be undercover after all."

Mason chose to ignore that for now. "...Ooookayyyy...I'll hide one between my over shirt and under shirt."

Danny hid a camera in his chest pocket as suggested.

"Alright we ready to go?" Mason asked.

Dominic nodded. "I'll head to the car and plot the path. Meet me there."

Mason was quick to hop onto his head. "I'll come with you."

"Alright." Dominic shrugged and headed for the car.

Danny followed after them. "Oh by the way, I also have a voice recorder in my pocket."

"You're always prepared for recording things, Danny. It's really surprising."

"Just part of the job."

Together, the trio headed off for the bakery.

* * *

"Making my way downtown...walking fast, paces fast, and I'm hooooomebooooound!" Mason sang loudly, listening to Vanessa Snarlton on the radio.

"Alright, we're pulling up now. I'm linking my camera and mic," Dominic said, taking this much more seriously. "Done. Ready to go?"

"Ready when you are, Dom," Danny said, smiling.

The car pulled up to what, on the outside, appeared to be a perfectly cheerful bakery. They aimed to prove otherwise.

Mason hopped out of the car and looked down the road. "Hey, isn't that...Chris?"

Dominic exited the car as well. "Hmm? So it is."

"HEY CHRIS!" the prairie dog yelled loudly.

The maned wolf down the street turned towards the disproportionately loud voice and walked over. "Guys? What are you all doing here?"

Mason looked around suspiciously, then leaned in to whisper at him. "Undercover work."

"Undercover? What is this about?"

"We're checking out this bakery," Dominic answered, pointing a thumb towards the building. "It may be an imitation and unlawfully using the name of another shop."

"Gideon's?"

"Correct."

"And we got hidden cameras on our clothes. For evidence," Danny said, gesturing to his pocket.

"And I can act like a regular citizen? Like, not even knowing you guys are in undercover?" asked Chris uneasily.

"None of us should really act too differently," Dominic affirmed.

"Okay. Anyway, you guys got any clue about this 'special individual'? The copycat?"

Mason shook his head. "None."

"It's this whole building," Dominic said. "There shouldn't be a 'Gideon's' here, so why is there? Mason bought some donuts from here and only later realized things weren't right."

"I was too tired in the morning to notice."

Chris crossed his arms and looked at the building. "Hum…whoever they are, they've got some bad taste. Look at this." He pointed to the logo. "The name 'Gideon's' looks different compared to the original one. This one looks like he just printed the ENTIRE front. Even the colors are darker than the original."

Dominic nodded. "Yeah, we noticed the logo this time was purple, different from the usual pink, and that the font was off too."

The maned wolf grimaced, sticking his tongue out. "And is that a _paw mark_ instead of an apostrophe? Seriously?"

"Well then, should we go and see who the culprits are?" Mason asked, punching a tiny fist into his palm threateningly.

Dominic took a step towards the building. "Time to check it out."

"Let's do this!"

"We should get going then," said Danny.

"I am right behind you guys." Chris followed after them.

The group of four entered the bakery, which seemed just as deceptively innocent on the inside as the out, full of regular baked goods, bread, muffins, etc. Sitting at the front desk was a bobcat in an apron.

And several dozen human heads!

Just kidding.

Mason took one look at his brethren and muttered under his breath, "Hey look, it _is_ a copycat."

"Shh..." Dominic admonished.

"Sorry."

"Just don't act suspicious, guys," Danny whispered loudly.

The bobcat's head lifted upon noticing the foursome. "Welcome! How may I help you?"

Dominic gave a friendly wave, as if he were just a regular customer and not someone planning to arrest him. "Hey there. I've gotta ask, do you make the donuts here? My friend here picked up a few and they were delicious."

He nodded cheerfully. "Oh yes, it's our special recipe. Company 'secret' so to say."

 _Company secret, huh?_ Chris thought.

"Company secret, huh?" Danny asked.

"Yes, It's a special ingredient...but I won't bore you with the details," the bobcat answered. "What are you hungry for?"

"Well I just wanted to eat a pie," said Chris. "Do you have one with blueberry flavor?"

"Yep, I heard they're really delicious here," Danny smiled at him.

But the bobcat paused for a moment. "Um...why yes! Gimme one second, I should have one out of the oven soon."

Chris shot him a thumbs-up. "Okie dokie."

The bobcat quickly left the counter to check. A little _too_ quickly.

Mason frowned. "How much you wanna bet he's running for it now?"

"Anyone else notice how sweaty his armpits were?" Chris asked, dropping the thumbs-up immediately.

"I could smell it. However, he _does_ have a hot oven back there," Mason admitted.

"I don't think it was because of the oven..."

"What do you think, Dom?"

The silver fox said nothing, just staring in the direction the bobcat left.

"Guess it was because of so many of us in one place," Chris theorized.

Unsupervised, Mason started to wander around, inspecting the food. "You know what I find odd?"

"What? The smell of it?"

"Yeah, and I noticed the 'fresh bread' is cold..."

"Hmm, I'll go take a look around outside. Good luck." Chris headed outside, and stayed there.

Danny started scouting the place out as well, looking at the tables. "Seems they didn't do much cleaning."

Mason stood on his tiptoes and looked towards the back door, prairie dog style. "Most importantly, how long does it take to check an oven?"

Dominic checked his watch. "It _has_ been quite a while."

"Do you guys smell anything cooking? I don't."

Danny looked around warily. "I think something's up, should we go check on them?"

"I say Dommy goes first, he's the cop and all," Mason suggested.

"Alright, I'll head in first. Just...don't ever call me that again." He made a quick call on his transceiver and then headed for the backroom.

Mason joined him, riding in an empty holster on his belt. "I'm right behind ya."

"I'll just stay here and check out more of this place," Danny called out to them.

"Okay Danny, we got our cameras."

They entered the double-doors into the room, which appeared to be an ordinary kitchen

"I don't _see_ anything suspicious..." Mason moved his small head left and right. "Including the perp. Where'd he go?"

Dominic looked around the room slowly. "I got a few snapshots now."

"I've been filming the entire time," the prairie dog said smugly.

"Me too, but I have a higher quality camera than video," he replied, a bit defensively.

Mason looked towards the stove in the back and hopped out of his free seat, heading over to examine it. "Hmm... the stove isn't on."

Dominic walked over, opening the door and peering inside. "Not just that...I can feel a breeze."

Mason poked his head inside and sniffed around. "I can smell that bobcat. He went inside the oven."

" _Inside?"_ the fox asked incredulously, even if his own nose was telling him the same thing.

"I think the know the smell of my own kind, thank you very much. I'm going in."

"Be careful."

Mason crawled towards the back of the oven, feeling around. After a moment, his paws came across something that very much did _not_ belong inside an oven. "There's a secret back door in here."

"Can you tell where it leads?"

Mason leaned in closer, examining the strange latch in front of him. "It looks like a vault...I'll go in." With some difficulty, he turned the latch and pushed open the false back, heading inside. "What _is_ this place?"

"I can't see it, buddy,' Dominic reminded him.

Mason grabbed his keychain and turned on his handy-dandy ultraviolet flashlight. "Ummm...Dom, you won't believe this..."

Dominic frowned at this nickname as well.

"But we got ourselves a drug lab back here." The ultraviolet light shined on multiple bags of catnip and a machine that seemed to be making it into many forms.

The fox looked over the passage carefully. "The hole is large enough to fit a bobcat, right? I should be able to make it through then."

"Speaking of... where is he...?" Mason slowly turned around to find the bobcat from the counter standing right behind him.

"Well I guess the secret ingredient is out," The bobcat said, an unnerving smile on his face. "Now what to do to keep it a secret…?" He eyed the prairie dog.

Hearing the commotion, Dominic quickly started crawling through the oven, tranq gun in paw.

Mason started to back away as the bobcat came closer. "Woah hey...let's not get too excited. I mean umm, I didn't tell anyone yet."

"And you never will."

"Hands up!" Dominic shouted from behind, his tranquilizer trained on the bobcat.

The bobcat paused for a moment, but slowly turned around.

And then pulled a firearm on Mason.

"WOAH!" The prairie dog flinched away, knowing the weapon would burst him like a watermelon.

"What?! No!" Dominic swore inwardly, angry at himself for letting his guard down.

"Drop it, cop," the bobcat threatened, "Or this dog is meeting his maker."

"Who're you calling a _dog?!"_

Dominic sighed, his tranq gun clattering as it hit the floor.

"Slide your gun towards me," the bobcat ordered, his own gun still aimed at Mason.

The fox reluctantly kicked the tranq towards him.

Smiling, the feline bent down to pick it up.

In this brief moment, Dominic gestured towards Mason.

He nodded in return, picking up on the unspoken signal.

Suddenly, police sirens were heard from outside.

Surprised, the bobcat bolted upright before he could grab the tranq gun. Mason took this chance to quickly run between the cat's legs and land on top of the gun. It wasn't quickly _enough_ however, as the bobcat grabbed Mason in his paw and aimed the firearm at him once more. "Too slow, prairie dog."

"For the last time, don't call me a dog!" he shouted indignantly. "I'm a bobcat too!"

"...What?"

Dominic rushed the bobcat in the confusion and tackled him, driving a taser into his side.

The bobcat convulsed violently from the shock, stunned but still conscious. "Nice try...but it takes more than that...to get me..." He abruptly passed out.

Dominic just stood there for a few moments, panting in relief. "That... could've gone a lot worse..."

"Can you get me out of his paw?" Mason asked, wriggling around in the feline's fingers. "He hasn't loosened his grip."

Dominic bent down to pry open the bobcat's paw and free Mason.

"Umm, guys, you still here?" Danny asked, coming into the backroom.

"Yeah Danny, we're here and fine." Mason climbed out of the large paw, revealing a tranq dart stuck in the palm.

"So you got him too?" Dominic asked, shaking his head. "He was way more ready than he should have been. I want you two to stay out of this. I don't know what I'd do if you got hurt."

"I thought that's what you meant when you gestured at me," Mason said, confused. "To take the tranq gun."

"I just needed you to make a distraction so I could use my taser," he said dryly, wondering why the rodent's first instinct had been direct violence.

"Well either way, we both got him..."

"Good thing too. Seems like the taser alone might not have worked."

The police stormed the building from outside.

Mason looked over at the bobcat. "I guess the cat-nipper...took a cat-NAP! Eyyyyyyyyyy!" He slapped his knee, looking towards Dominic with a dorky grin.

Face in his paw, the fox just nodded.

The oven was opened from outside and Danny poked his head in. "Oh, there you are, guys."

"Thanks for letting us out," Mason said, crawling out of the oven.

"Danny, get my unit in here," Dominic ordered. "We should get a checkup and my squad needs to get this place under control."

"No problem." Danny went to the police and pointed them in the direction of the oven.

Chris suddenly re-appeared as well. "We heard some strange noises coming from this oven and we came to see why. Who ever thought it could be a secret passage?"

Soon the police were handling the situation at the bakery. The ZNN staffers moved outside.

* * *

"Well _that_ was a fun lunch break." Mason grinned widely.

"Mason, I think you and I may want to get a minor check-up," Dominic advised. "Things got a bit intense and I want to make sure we're okay."

He crossed his arms and huffed. "Fine."

An arctic wolf suddenly walked by them, towards the bakery, singing. "Let's go see how the catnip is doing, the catnip is doing, the catnip is doing!" He stopped as he saw the cops flooding the place, then turned and ran.

"Was that Nami?" Chris asked.

Danny followed his line of sight. "Wait, why's he making a run for it?"

"Dom, take a shot at Nami first," Mason said casually. "I think he's running for it again"

They watched as a ZPD squad member chased down the fleeing wolf and tranqed him.

"That should do it," Dominic sighed.

"We will never understand him," said Chris.

Mason shook his head. "Nope."

Despite being tranqed, Jake "Namicle" Skyline started screaming. "I'm innocent! Nooooooooo! Police brutality!"

"He'll be questioned by my squad later," Dominic reassured them. "If he's really innocent, everything will be fine. I'll leave that to them."

"Well I guess I gotta go back to work. My hour lunch break is almost up," Mason said, looking at his phone.

"Mason, we're going to the hospital. You can get back to work later."

"Fine, but I think I need to get questioned first."

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Jake shouted again, before finally succumbing to the tranquilizer.

"I'll go to work now, but may I have those cameras back?" Danny asked.

Mason took the camera off of his shirt and handed it to him. "Here you go, and can you make a movie from this all? That would be cool."

Dominic stepped forward and made an announcement to his squad: "If anyone here needs a ride to ZNN, give them one. I'm taking this one to the hospital for a checkup. And check out those cameras, they've got the footage of the event. My footage should be in the database already."

Another officer came forward and collected everyone's cameras, making Danny sigh.

Mason looked away, lost in thought. "I just gave drug-filled donuts to a police officer." A cop looked towards him in interest. "Not on purpose!"

"Come on Mason, we're leaving." Dominic quickly grabbed Mason and carried him into the squad car, driving to the hospital. "Don't mention that around the other cops, alright?"

The prairie dog giggled. "Heeheehee, blackmail..."

"Oh, you would get in a lot of trouble too. And I don't want you getting in trouble for nothing."

Meanwhile, Danny took a ride with the police to ZNN while Chris took his own "special route" back.

* * *

One hospital visit later, Dominic and Mason walked back into the ZNN offices.

"Hey guys, you're back!" Danny announced cheerfully. "How'd it go?"

"That was the worst trip to the doctor's ever. I didn't even get a lollipop," Mason said sarcastically.

"At least nothing was wrong with Mason. I had to get my system flushed out..." Dominic shuddered. "Blech, I thought I was hungry _before._ Now those donuts aren't even around." Not that he would want them, he hastily reminded himself. "You guys up for a pizza or something?"

"I want!" Chris shouted, backflipping over his desk to land in front of them.

Danny's tail wagged. "Me too!"

"Pizza it is!" Mason pumped his tiny fist.

"That pie just made me sick," Chris grimaced. "Ten times worse than the original."

"You got the pie? When did you get your pie?" Dominic turned to him, confused. "He was arrested for running a drug lab before he ever came out from the back."

"I just took a tiiiiiiiiny bit of it. It was awful," Chris said, not getting the big deal.

"I'm more worried where you _found_ that pie. You may want to visit the hospital too...they were filled with drugs."

"Also, I was...wait what?"

"Yeah, there was a drug lab in the back of the bakery," Mason explained. "All the food was laced with catnip."

Dominic nodded. "That's why the store was closed down. Turns out it was a lot more than just an imitation bakery."

Chris gulped, tugging at his collar uneasily. "Really? It was just a small portion of it. Can it be that bad?"

"I got my system flushed for those three donuts. I don't think it's just a small amount either."

"And he attacked his own kind too!" Mason growled in disgust. "A bobcat threatening another bobcat...how rude."

Danny blinked. "Umm, which bobcat?" He was a new member.

"You mean the bobcat from that place?" Chris asked.

"Yeah, and he held me at gun point! What kind of creature threatens his own species?!"

"The kind that don't wanna get arrested?"

"It's still rude," Mason grumbled.

Danny's head tilted slowly to one side, deciding to just roll with it. "Riiiight."

"Anyways, I'm going to order the pizza," Dominic said, pulling out his phone and dialing it.

"And maybe some Coke too," Chris suggested. "I've still got that bad taste in my mouth."

Dominic ordered two large pizzas of unspecified type for the group.

"Oh by the way, I made a movie from the footage we got...in VR," Danny said, eyebrows wriggling.

"The police were asking for those cameras. Did you not give that footage to them?" Dominic asked sternly.

"I did, but I also have a backup for them."

"You already made a backup?" He pinched his brow and sighed. "Whatever, I'm just ready for some food already. This is not how I expected today to go."

"So just what kind of pizza did you order?" it finally occurred to Chris to ask.

There was a loud knock on the front doors.

"I think it's here!" Mason said excitedly.

Dominic looked towards the door. "I sure hope so..."

 **End Session**

* * *

 _Will the ZNN crew ever get their pizza? What kind of pizza did they even order? What became of poor Jake Skyline? These questions and more will be answered...never, I guess. Such is the nature of random internet RP's._

 _I've noticed I'm starting to cheat a bit on the rules I set for myself at the beginning, to the point that I've already re-labeled them "guidelines". My desire to stay accurate to the source material sometimes clashes with my narrative sense of wanting to keep a good flow, resulting in the occasional reordering or cutting of lines. The overall silliness shall remain intact however. :P_

 _It's easy to tell when one of us has to leave the session for a while, such as when Raphael had Chris "search outside". I'm curious how that would have played out had he not returned before the rest of the group actually WENT outside. And don't even ask about Namicle..._

 _Fun fact: Quirky played both Mason and the bobcat drug-dealer, fittingly enough._


	3. Session 3

_This one has a bit of an interesting story behind it. Ever since we started doing this, I got the idea of trying out some kind of truth or dare RP (because why not?) and waited for the opportunity to suggest such a thing. That opportunity came here. I'm not sure what the original plan for this session was, if there even was a plan, but I somehow doubt it would have been more interesting than THIS._

* * *

 **Session 3: Truth or Scare, or, The Skyline's the Limit**

 **Starring:**

 **Pascal Lynxon** **as himself:** A friendly, if somewhat shy, Eurasian lynx. Can have trouble adjusting to new people or places, but will soon find himself fitting right in. (Helps that everyone else finds him adorable.) In fact, he never wanted to join ZNN in the first place. He was originally just a fan who mailed them pictures and artwork, until one day when he accidentally mailed _himself_ instead. Needless to say, they didn't mind too much, and now Pascal is one of the team's most dedicated artists.

 **Quirky-Middle-Child as Mason-Dixon Smith**

 **Berserker88 as Steven J. Stinkman**

 **Tomlocke as Thomas L. Anderson**

 **Sendrax as himself:** A shrew of unusual size. He's a guy of not much words that prefers to observe and think on whatever is happening around him. Quite conservative, but is slowly changing much of his paradigms. He joined the ZNN as an artist to test himself and see for his own if the motto 'anyone can be anything' is really true. Commonly seen working with Mason on their next art piece.

 **Namicle as Jake Skyline**

 **Shadow9692 as Dominic Faux**

* * *

It was a hot afternoon in Zootopia, the perfect weather for a frozen treat. Pascal Lynxon had just that idea as he happily licked away at a pawpsicle. Heading through the local park, the feline caught sight of a familiar mammal sitting on a nearby bench.

Mason didn't seem to notice him, staring at the ground and lost in thought.

With a mischievous smile, Pascal slowly crept up behind Mason and held the pawpsicle over his head. " _C'mon sun, melt my pawpsicle before he notices me..."_ he thought.

Mason didn't notice a thing, too distracted by a recent epiphany that was troubling him. "...Maybe I AM adopted."

A drop slowly built up on the bottom of the pawpsicle.

"I thought I was just shorter than everyone..."

Pascal smiled wide as the drop fell, in dramatic slow-mo, towards the rodent's head.

Feeling the impact, Mason instinctively put a paw to his head, eyes wide as it came back covered in a dark red substance. "I'M BLEEDING!" He started to hyperventilate in panic, until he looked up and noticed Pascal hovering over him.

The cat laughed and put the pawpsicle back in his mouth.

"PASCAL! You troll!"

Unfortunately for everyone involved, this attracted the attention of other ZNN members, who happened to be in the park as well for some reason or another.

Steven Stinkman fell over laughing. "Holy musk, that was great!"

Jake Skyline smirked and gave a thumbs-up.

"Nice one, Pascal!" Tom complimented.

"Very funny XD," added Sendrax, popping out of Tom's pocket. Steven idly wondered how he did that with his face.

"Hahaha, I'm sorry," said Pascal, still laughing.

"He's really not," the praire dog whispered to the others. "Well, I was planning to shower tonight anyway. What are you all up to?"

"Not much...walking around, enjoying a pawpsicle..." Pascal patted Mason's head, his paw coming away with melted pawpsicle stuck to it. "Eww," he muttered, wiping it on his jeans.

Steven shrugged. "He's just trying to rain on your day apparently. With sticky rain at that."

"I just like to walk around, it helps clear my head," said Tom, glancing down at the rodent in his pocket. "How long have you been in there, Sendrax?"

"Just a few hours. I come here when I'm too lazy to walk."

"That's fine, just let me know in the future. I don't want to accidentally squish you."

"I do wolf things here," Jake said simply.

Steven looked at him curiously. "Dare I ask what?"

"Nothing illegal."

Pascal searched his pockets for a moment and grabbed a small, clean tissue, holding it towards Mason. "Sorry again, I couldn't resist...I have some of these at home in my freezer."

"Is this all you eat, Pascal?"

"Uh...no, I eat different things too of course..." He looked away, searching for something to change the topic. "Oh look, a tree!"

Steven raised an eyebrow. "Wow. A park with trees. Imagine that."

"It is a nice tree," Mason acknowledged.

Jake nodded. "Very nice."

Mason looked around at his friends. "So...while we're all here...why don't we play a game? It's a nice Fall day and the weather is good."

Tom curled up on the ground by the leaves. "It _is_ nice out…"

"Depends on the game," Jake answered. "What do you have in mind?"

"Dunno... last time we played rugby," Mason thought aloud. "But I don't want to be the ball again."

"But we _need_ a ball!"

"Balls shouldn't bruise!" Mason protested. "I'm still purple on my stomach!"

"Better than being a blue ball." Tom turned and winked at the camera.

Pascal chewed on the wooden stick from his pawpsicle in thought. "Any other ideas?"

Tom pulled a deck of cards out of nowhere. "Anyone want to play a round of cards?"

"As long as it's not strip poker again," Steven said firmly. "That was not fun for anyone."

"BUT STRIP POKER IS BEST POKER!" Jake screamed, getting some curious stares from other park guests.

Tom thwacked his head with a rolled-up newspaper. "BAD DOG!"

Mason shuddered. "That was a terrible idea."

"It was a dark day...but not dark enough..." Steven shook his head, reliving traumatic memories. "Oh god, it was not dark enough."

Tom whimpered. "And I thought Steven's spray was blinding."

Pascal quirked his head. "I've never played strip poker. What's it like?"

"Pascal, no! You're only encouraging them," Mason warned. "How about regular poker? We can't play strip poker in public anyway."

"Says who?" asked Jake.

After another moment of thought, Steven suddenly broke into a wide, evil grin. "Well I have a fun idea, if we can't decide."

Mason turned towards him. "What's your plan, Steven?"

The skunk looked back and forth, as if plotting a conspiracy. "How about... _truth or dare?"_

"So long as we don't strip, sure."

He slapped his forehead. "Okay, rule 1: No stripping. EVER!"

"BUT WHY?" Jake pleaded.

"Because there are kids around, Nam," said Mason, pointing out into the park.

"Oh crap."

Tom's face was neutral. "Namicle, why do you want to see us naked?"

"Because...reasons…" He twiddled his thumbs. "But I don't want to risk getting on the sexual offenders list."

"You're already there."

"Close, but not yet."

"I think there's a false dichotomy going on here," Steven pointed out. "The options are not truth or dare OR strip."

Mason loudly cleared his throat, trying to get back on track. "Aaaaaaand on that note, who wants to start our very SFW game?"

"I feel like I'm back in high school," Tom chuckled, not entirely displeased. "I'll take the first truth or dare, who wants to ask me?"

"Oh ho, Tom takes the bait!" Steven grinned.

"Okay Tom, truth or dare?" asked Mason, starting it off.

"It's not bait if I have nothing to hide," Tom said confidently. "Truth."

Mason tapped a finger against his chin, thinking up a question. "Who...was your first kiss outside of your family members?"

Tom smiled warmly. "A cute lynx by the name of Alicia."

Jake leaned in curiously. "Ooooooh, _interspecies."_

"Awww, Tom, you rascal," Sendrax grinned, giving him a playful shoulder bump.

Tom's smile faded abruptly. "But let's just say that later on down the road, everything went to shit."

The mood darkened in an instant.

Steven had to resist the urge to pull out his notebook. "Must respect boundaries, must respect boundaries, must respect boundaries..."

The timber wolf's head instantly snapped towards him. "Steven, truth or dare?"

The skunk was snapped out of his daze. "Eep! Ah screw it, bring it on. Dare!" He already regretted it.

Tom slowly raised a finger, pointing at the nice tree Pascal had so graciously drawn their attention to. "I want you to go spray that tree over there."

Steven's eyes widened, then narrowed at him. "This is your sick idea of revenge for the ferret incident, isn't it?"

"Who, me? Of course not," Tom smiled innocently.

He bit his lip, looking back and forth between the sadistic wolf and the tree. "Ugh, fine. At least we agreed on no stripping, so I ain't doing it the natural way."

"BREAKING THE LAW! BREAKING THE LAW!" Jake chanted.

Steven blushed furiously. "Nam...trying for a BIT of subtlety here..."

Tom promptly fell onto his back, laughing his ass off.

Looking around to make sure there weren't any cops nearby, Steven snuck over to the tree as best as a black and white creature in broad daylight could. "I'm so glad Dom isn't here to see this..." Shaking with anxiety, he turned his back on the tree, whistling as he casually pulled out his scent can and gave it a spritz. It was only a small amount, but the stuff was notoriously easy to detect.

He immediately rushed back to the group. "YOU ALL SUCK!'

Jake coughed, plugging his nose. "God, I can smell it from over here!"

"GOOD!"

Mason stuffed his snout in his shirt.

"Ufff, oh my," Sendrax muttered woozily, covering his nose.

Pascal just sat there.

"Guess you could say this idea of yours really 'backfired' eh, Steven?" Tom laughed. "Your turn."

Steven scowled, seeking his next target. "Hmm...alright then, I'm feeling vindictive...Nam! Truth or dare!"

Jake shrugged. "Welp, either way it will be a train wreck. So I choose truth."

"Maybe I should be merciful…" Steven thought for a second. And only for a second. "Nah, going for the throat. What's your most embarrassing childhood memory?"

Jake slowly looked around, blushing.

Tom leaned in, very interested in this answer.

"So...this one time, I may have accidentally set a part of my house on fire."

He sat up immediately. "WHAT?!"

Sendrax shook his head, laughing. "That is just so...Namicle."

"Somehow not surprised," Steven said dryly.

"How'd you manage that?" asked Mason, pulling his snout from his shirt.

"Details man, details!" Tom pressed.

Jake looked up to the sky, recounting that tragic day. "I tried to cook some macaroni and cheese when my parents were out. I then had to attend nature. When I came out of the bathroom...the whole kitchen was on fire." He burst into tears. "I WAS ONLY GONE FOR 5 MINUTES! 5 MINUTES!"

"But...how?" asked Tom, laughing despite his confusion.

"I may have accidentally left a roll of paper towels a little too close to the burner."

"Macaroni and cheese...it'll be the end of you..." Steven said grimly. "So what happened next?"

"I ran out of the house screaming." He exhaled dramatically. "It spread to the living room. The neighbors called the Fire Department and they put it out before it could burn the rest of the house down. Needless to say, that was the last time I was left alone in the house for a while."

"You know, I think I remember hearing about that on the news," Mason noted.

Tom looked at him sternly. "Ok, new rule, you are no longer allowed in the office kitchen. Ever."

Jake threw himself on the ground, in begging position. "But WHYYYYYYY?! I CAN COOK NOW! I WAS YOUNG!" he pleaded. "I BLAME YOU GUYS FOR ASKING ABOUT IT!"

"Should have took the dare."

Steven stepped in. "I have to agree with Nam, here. We ALL did stupid stuff when we were young."

Tom softened up and patted the other wolf on the back. "Look, it's ok, I can cook for you."

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

"Well I think you can as long as you have supervision, Nam," Sendrax said, trying to reassure him.

With that, he finally calmed down a little. "Ok..."

Steven frowned, almost feeling bad about asking, but not quite. "Be like me, buddy. Take it out on the next guy.

Jake smiled, suddenly remembering the power he now wielded. "Truth or dare, Mason?"

The prairie dog rocked back and forth in thought. "Oooohhh...decisions...hmmmmmm...I'll go with...truth."

"This oughta be good," Tom smiled.

Mason's nervousness intensified.

"What is the worst thing you have ever done in your adult life?" Jake asked.

"You know, other than join ZNN," Tom added as a disclaimer.

"Darn it, Tom, took away my only option," Mason cursed. "What age are we using to define adult, 18 or 21?"

"18. More options that way," said Jake.

"Okay, that should make it easier to think of something…" His eyes suddenly widened, flooded with terrible 18-year-old memories.

Steven watched him nervously. "Uh oh, I think he's having PTSD."

"Hey, buddy?" Tom waved a paw in Mason's face. The rodent was practically comatose.

Jake grabbed some popcorn.

Finally, Mason spoke. "There was this one time I thought I could live on my own, so I took all my belongings and went out to find my place in the world. I didn't have a job just then…and I thought I could get a job as an actor, so I applied at the theater. I auditioned for the role of the "phantom" in The Phantom of the Opera. After the cast call was announced, I was the "props".

"You mean... _prop?_ " asked Sendrax.

"No, _props!_ I played every prop in the play!" he yelled.

Tom had a revelation. "So _that's_ why you make such a good rugby ball! You have experience!"

"Now that's what I call method acting," Steven added.

"I spent the whole week as the props..." Mason wiped a tear from his eye. He looked between Pascal and Sendrax, the only two who hadn't had a turn yet.

Pascal froze up nervously.

"Pleasenotmepleasenotmepleasenotme," Sendrax muttered, shaking in Tom's pocket like a pager.

"Hmmm...I now call upon my fellow artist...SENDRAX! Truth or dare?"

"Oh, repampanos!" the shrew swore.

"Oooooooh, now this oughta be good!" Jake rubbed his paws together excitedly.

"Lets see, ummm, dare?" Sendrax squeaked.

"Oh man, artists have creative vision..." said Steven, shaking his head. "RIP, Sendrax. We knew you well."

Mason gave a villainous smirk. "I dare you...to let the group pose you in any way, and we will take a picture of that pose." He paused. "And then I might draw it."

"WHAT!? You artists are so strange!"

"Takes one to know one, Sendrax."

"So...I let you decide the pose?" he asked, growing increasingly worried.

"Yep."

"Ok, so how do we pose Sendrax guys?" Tom asked. "Any ideas?"

"How about the 'Thinker' pose?" Jake suggested. "Or something worse?"

"It's ok, it's ok, breathe through it..." Sendrax told himself.

"Or a ballet pose," said Mason.

"I can get behind ballet," Steven agreed, then quickly backpedaled. "W-Wait, I didn't mean it like that!"

Tom nodded. "Ballet it is."

"Sendrax, pose like you're doing a pirouette," Mason told him, chuckling.

"You don't happen to have a tutu there, right?" the shrew asked.

"Unfortunately, we don't have any," Steven said, visibly disappointed.

"I can fold up a napkin like one for you, Sen," Tom smirked.

Steven gave him a serious, firm stare. "Do it."

"Don't worry, I can draw that," Mason confirmed, already getting his camera ready.

"Oh nonono, not necessary, thanks Tom," Sendrax said hurriedly.

Mason decided to be a bit merciful to his fellow artist. "The pose is enough, Sendrax."

"Thanks," he sighed in relief, doing some ballet pirouettes, still shamed since he wasn't exactly a dancing guy.

But Tom wasn't having it, already folding a napkin into the perfect tutu. "Here you go!" he said, holding it out to him.

Which happened to be right in the way of Mason's camera. ""Thanks Tom, you ruined it."

"Sorry…"

"Oh well, it's the thought that counts. Your turn, Sendrax."

"Ufff, ok, where is Zootopia´s favorite kitty?" the shrew asked, looking around for the only one yet to _be_ asked.

All eyes turned to Pascal...only to find him gone.

"I think he made a run for it, guys," Steven said blankly.

"Some of the things we said and done must of scared him off," Jake guessed.

"Or...ALL of the things we said and done..."

Sendrax frowned in disappointment. "Okaaaaay. So if nothing can be done about it...I choose YOU Tom! Truth or dare?"

"I didn't realize Tom was a Pokemam," Steven teased.

"Har har." The timber wolf just winked back at Sendrax. "Still Truth."

"Now, this is the difficult part, I'm bad with questions," the shrew muttered to himself.

"Make it good, Sendrax!" Jake urged.

"Just ask whatever you want to know. Or whatever _they_ want to know," Tom said, gesturing to the group.

Finally, Sendrax came up with a question, and boy was it a doozy. "What was the worst day of your life that you can remember?"

Tom deflated instantly. "Oh...that."

"Ooooooowww!" Jake winced.

"It was when I joined ZNN during the nighthowler incident," he explained. "Remember Alicia?

"I don't like where this is going..." Steven gulped.

"I was trying to keep my friends together because they had joined the whole pred-prey split thing during the incident. She took the anti-pred side despite being a pred herself, and apparently did a good job of keeping herself on that side. I went to try and talk to her and ask for help...then she had me thrown out."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Mason said sadly.

Steven looked down in disgust. "That's horrible..."

"After the dust settled and her entire movement had collapsed, I went to her to ask for forgiveness. And she..."

"It's okay, you don't need to go any further!" Sendrax hurriedly cut him off. "I'm sorry I asked for that."

"Well let's say she's the reason I don't like the ZPD," he laughed humorlessly.

Even Jake leaned in to put an arm on his shoulder. "We're here for you, Tom."

"Thanks, Namicle. Sorry I brought the group down," he said, trying to smile. "Mason, truth or dare?"

"Alright, let's embarrass myself again. I'll go dare!"

"Huh. I remember almost losing my job in that incident. Never thought this city would get so far." Hearing a new voice, the group looked over to see that Dominic had now joined them. "Hey guys, what have I been missing?"

"WOOOOOO!" Jake cheered.

"Hi, Dominic!" Mason greeted.

Steven tensed up. "I DIDN'T DO IT! Uh, I mean, hey Dom."

"So is that why I smell skunk spray in the air?" he asked.

Tom perked up. It seemed that fate had smiled on him today after all. He leaned down to whisper to Mason. "I dare you to go lick Dominic's ear."

"Uuuuuhhhh...passssss?"

"Nope."

He sighed. "Fine…"

Tom gave a trollish grin as the rodent headed off. "Love ya, Mason."

"Hey Dom! Down here!" Mason called up to him.

"Hey Mason, what's up?"

"Could you bend down, please? I need to tell you something."

"Uh...alright." His police instincts were screaming at him in warning, but he ignored them and kneeled down next to him. Mason was his friend, right? What could he do?

The prairie dog stuck his tongue in his left ear and licked.

"What the hell?!"

Tom howled with laughter.

"BLEAH! Do you wash your ears?" Mason gagged.

"He had a very special message for you, Dom," Steven smirked.

"Didn't know you were into that!" Tom said, still laughing.

Dominic was stunned. "I... just got off the job…"

Mason rubbed at his tongue. "That tasted terrible…"

"Wanna try mine?" Tom asked, wiggling his ears.

"I'm good."

"Alright, your turn."

Dominic stood back up, shivering. "Alright...that was...can we not do that again?"

"Since I guess Dom just joined and it is my turn…" Mason turned back towards the fox. "First off, sorry about earlier. Second...truth or dare?"

"I have a feeling he's not about to pick dare," said Steven, still smirking.

"I don't think it'd be a good idea, no. So truth I guess," Dominic replied, sighing. "You just had to be in the park between my office and my home, huh?"

"Out of all the staff in the ZNN, which one have you seen the most reports on in the ZPD?" asked Mason.

Jake froze. "Oh no."

Steven tensed up as well, albeit for different reasons.

"That's... actually kind of tough. I usually try to stay away from ZNN-related reports, you know... working for them and all," Dominic explained. "But...there's a lot of reports of Tom in the hospital. Namicle may be just a bit higher on the list, but I don't know for sure. You guys aren't in a ton of reports."

"At least they don't know about the other things…" Jake whispered to himself.

Steven gave a sheepish smile. "O-Oh, that's g-good to know."

"I'm only in those reports because of you guys..." Tom noted, giving a pointed glare to certain other members, including the skunk.

"So my records must have been erased. I didn't think my plan would work." Mason nodded in satisfaction. "Anyway...now it's your call, Dom."

"Let's see...Steven, truth or dare."

"You better pick truth, remember the last dare?" Tom asked, laughing

Steven sighed. "Well I'm not abusing my natural defense twice in one day and I know that's all you sickos will ask of me. So truth."

The wolf put a paw to his chest in mock offense. "That hurt, Steven..."

Dominic smiled, getting an idea. "Ah, well then. Perhaps I'll ask you, what's the worst time you ever accidentally sprayed?"

He sighed again, louder. "One track mind, all of you."

"You know it!" Jake smiled, shooting him a double thumbs-up.

"Alright...the worst time was when I was really young and my parents took me to Mickey World. For some reason, they thought it was a great idea to bring a five-year-old skunk on that one ride "The Extinction". You know, the one with all those giant ancient mammals that roar at you. It, uh...scared me. A lot." He crossed his arms and huffed. "And after the fumigation lawsuit was settled, I'm no longer allowed within a hundred feet of that ride. Satisfied?"

"Yes," Dominic said simply. "Your turn.

"Hmm...how about Mason?"

"Again?"

He shrugged. "You're a fun target."

"Or a fun prop," the prairie dog said under his breath. "Alright, truth."

"As a commission artist, tell us about the worst client you have ever had."

Mason looked up with a big grin. "ZNN."

"Fair enough," Tom nodded.

Staring blankly, Steven imitated the losing theme to "The Price is Bite". "Just...take your turn."

"And now I call on Pascal!"

"Pascal's not here."

The lynx suddenly shot up, having apparently been asleep on the ground the whole time. "I'm awake, boss!"

At the same time, a maned wolf happened to come in, seeing his friends in the park. "Oh, hey guys!"

Dominic looked to him. "Hmm? Oh, welcome to the party."

"Hey, Chris!" Jake greeted, waving to him.

"What are you guys doing?"

"We are currently playing a game of truth or dare."

"Huh. You don't mind if I join?"

"Of course not, Chris! Come on in!"

"Be careful with this bunch," Dominic warned. "First thing that happened to me was Mason licking my ear. That wasn't very pleasant."

"It wasn't for me either," Mason countered. "Enough distractions! Pascal, truth or dare?"

"Er...dare?"

"I dare you to do 30 pushups!"

Dominic blinked in surprise. "Well, that's a rather simple dare. Glad you're following the law this time."

Simple as it was, Pascal paled. "Wait...30 pushups? I'm proud of myself when I can do 5!"

"With me on your back," Mason added, smirking sadistically.

"Aww, that's just mean." Steven shook his head. "Poor kitty."

Pascal nodded despondently. "Okay...let's do it." He lied down on his stomach. "Alright, Mason, jump on my back.

He gladly did so, giggling maniacally.

Bracing himself, Pascal began. "And... oooooonnneeee." He groaned, slowly moving up and down.

"C'mon I'm only 2 pounds," Mason complained.

"Twooooooo…"

"You can do it, Pascal! COME ON!" Jake shouted encouragingly.

"Seveeeeeen…" Pascal panted, already looking exhausted.

"Are you even trying?" Chris asked, not so encouragingly.

Steven frowned. "This...could take a while."

 **23 pushups later**

"Ugh...done...Mason…" Pascal lied on the ground, breathing heavily. "I can't feel my arms…"

"WOOOOOOO! Nice job Pascal!" Jake cheered.

"That was for the pawpsicle incident," Mason smiled, hopping off of him.

"Hmm, I guess it's _not_ so simple. I've been through police training," Dominic noted.

"I guess I deserved it…" Pascal sighed. He watched as Mason noticed the red spot on the back of his head and rubbed at it. _Still worth it._ "So who's next?"

Chris raised a paw. "Can I?"

"Sure!"

Steven stared at him. "Huh. Never seen anyone _volunteer_ for truth or dare before."

"Can I at least have my moment, Steven?"

"Hey, I'm not gonna stop ya."

"I choose...dare."

"Hmm..." Pascal looked around.

He looked at Mason.

He grinned evilly.

Mason shuddered.

Chris raised an eyebrow.

"Chris? You have to...kiss Mason on the cheek!" Pascal laughed.

Tom smiled warmly. "D'aaaaaaaaw."

Steven chuckled. "You know, for a second, I thought you were gonna tell him to eat the guy."

Mason's jaw dropped. "What?!"

"Actually, that was my first idea," Pascal admitted.

"WHAT?!"

"This is going to be so cute!" laughed Jake. "DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!"

"I'd rather be a rubgy ball!"

Dominic narrowed his eyes. "But you're just fine _licking my ear."_

"Wait!" Pascal shouted. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. "Okay, now."

"Good idea," Jake agreed, readying his Samspaw.

Not having his phone, Steven settled for jotting down notes.

Chris frowned at the feline. "Are you seriously gonna film that?"

"Yus!"

"...Okay."

"Make it good, Chris. You're gonna be famous on Zootube," Steven said, already writing.

Seeing no way out of it, Chris bent down, grabbed the prairie dog, and kissed him on the cheek.

A chorus of "aww" followed.

"Let's just add some music," Tom suggested. "That'll make it golden."

"I think I found my new favorite picture!" Jake grinned.

"Make it your lockscreen."

"Already done!'

"Goodbye, dignity," Mason sighed.

Chris patted him on the back in comfort. "Don't feel bad, buddy, at least it was just your cheek. Or did you actually want me to kiss you on the mouth?"

"No."

Pascal swore to himself. "Oh! Why didn't I go with that instead?"

"Cheek was fine."

"You sure, Mason?" Tom asked, wagging his tail.

"Don't get any ideas, Tom!"

Steven stopped writing. "I sense some unresolved tension here."

"Maybe next time…" Pascal sighed.

"It's okay, Pascal, you are the shipped, not the shipper."

"Which reminds me!" Tom giggled. "You should ask him about your sister, Mason!"

Pascal blushed. "What? Nuuuuuuuuu!"

"So I guess it's my turn to dare someone or force him/her to tell the truth about something?" Chris asked, in great detail.

"If it's me, I forfeit," Mason said dryly.

"Who are you going to ask?" Tom pressed him.

"Thanks for volunteering, Tom. Truth or Dare?"

He just shrugged. "I guess I'll be boring again. Truth."

"C'mon, pick a dare!" Mason challenged.

"Well here's the thing, Mason. If I pick truth, I'm safe."

"At least you can't break the law on a truth," Dominic shrugged. "I approve."

"Yeah, but it's not as fun," Mason argued.

"I don't think it'd be safe to ask for a dare with the equipment I've got. So I'm pretty much excusing myself from dares."

"I guess...killjoy."

Steven rolled his eyes. "Alright, then let's keep digging into Tom's horrible memories I guess."

"Tell me, what was the most embarrassing moment of your life...AS A CHILD?!" asked Chris.

"As a cub...hmmm, well I didn't burn my house down, but there was this one time I was with a friend of mine," Tom answered. "We decided to race go karts and I had never driven a vehicle before, being 6 and all. I went so fast that I flipped the kart over on flat ground. And I may or may not have wet myself during that."

"Good to hear no one died."

"There has never been so much fire since that day." He shook his head. "Thankfully, he didn't try to make me pay for the trashed go kart." The wolf looked around the park. "Ok, who's my next victim?"

"That was more...sad than embarrassing...but okay."

Steven nodded in affirmation. "Yep. More horrible memories."

Tom finally settled on the other wolf. "Jaaaaaaake! Buddy! Truth or dare?"

"Choices, choices...well, I think I need to add to the list of stupid and borderline illegal things I've done, so I choose dare."

Tom gave a trollish grin. "You just signed your death warrant, mate."

"Oh god! At least make it good."

Steven squeezed his tail tightly. "You shouldn't a' done that."

"Don't forget you do have a police officer with you," Dominic reminded sternly.

"I wish you were around earlier. You could've saved a poor tree."

"Oh, that's the point Dom. You're in on this..." Tom winked.

"Not more kissing," Mason groaned.

"For me it was okay," Chris replied. "It felt like I was kissing my favorite plushie."

The prairie dog blushed.

Logging that away for blackmail purposes later, Tom turned back to Jake. "Namicle, I dare you to find the first carrot stand you can, then ask out the first mammal in line." He leaned in closer. "And if they say yes, you have to go."

"Why a carrot stand? Is that a euphemism?" Steven asked.

"Because my friends eat corn and I don't want him traumatizing them."

Jake only looked excited. "Oooh, time to activate LADIES' MAN NAMICLE!"

Tom stared at him. "Who said the first mammal you saw had to be female?"

His grin faded. "Damn you, Tom, but I will honor it. A dare is a dare. Now to find a carrot stand…" He stood up and began looking around, the rest of the group following after him. Finally, he spotted such a stand looming in the distance. "Watch how the master does it," he smiled, traipsing towards the stand with a confident grin on his muzzle.

Tom whispered to the others. "Yeah, this isn't going to end well."

Mason wordlessly pulled out a phone.

Jake approached the stand, nearing the front line.

Chris laid down in the grass, staying in a relaxed position. "Oh...I just wanna see how this is gonna end..."

"Good luck, buddy!" Steven shouted, already planning a gossip column on the new ZNN scandal.

"Don't get slapped!" Mason encouraged him, filming it all.

Jake stopped just short of his target, whispering to himself. "Let's see how this goes. You can do it. Yeah, you're the man. THE MAN. I AM JAKE NAMICLE SKYLINE AND I WILL DO THIS! YOU HEAR ME WORLD?! I CAN DO THIS!" He succeeded in getting the attention of more than just the front line.

Being a carrot stand, it was only natural that most of the patrons were rabbits. He approached a white, female doe now staring at him curiously. "Hey beautiful, what brings you out on such a gorgeous day?"

Chris whispered over to Tom, singing. "Somebody is getting fuuuuu..."

"Yep."

"Nothing much, just buying some carrots!" the rabbit responded cheerfully.

Jake nodded. "That's good. I actually have a phobia of carrots ever since 'Nam. Those damn bunny bastards hiding in the fields of crops. They would hide from within and ambush us. We never say them coming. Never. We napalmed them, and we did it good. Hearing the cries of the burning souls of the viet-bunnies is something that still haunts me today. But a smell arose from within the smell of burning flesh! The smell of victory! The smell of defeating one's enemies! The smell that those commie bastards would never get us again! And the screams became that of music as we continued onwards. I still remember those days and remember them quite clearly. Do you know what it's like to kill a man? To hear their screams as you stab your bayonet into their gut and have their insides spill out onto the floor? To unload a clip of your M16 right into their still thinking face. To see the fear in their eyes as they take their final breath! To see their face when the old '60 lights them up like a christmas tree and to watch them dance as the bullet impacts every square inch of their dead body. It's something that still haunts me today, but I must remember that I did what I did for my country and to keep those I fought with safe. So, are you taken yet?"

Complete. Silence.

Mason stared blankly. "If that's his opening line, I'd hate to hear the rest."

"I think he's been watching too many movies," Dominic said slowly.

Chris's jaw dropped. "Oh...M...goodness..."

Tom shook his head. "Why would you open up like that...ok, I know how to fix this. Everyone, HOWL!"

"Howl?" Mason asked.

"It'll keep Jake from coming up with any other bad pickup lines."

"I don't know, I think I'd rather watch this play out myself," Dominic smiled. "He's making quite the fool of himself."

The poor bunny was horrified. "Oh god, that must of been awful! Anyway, no I'm not taken."

If anything, that was even more shocking. "What just happened? That actually _worked_?" asked a dumbfounded Dominic.

Tom put his head in his paws. "Oh goat no."

"Love is a mysterious thing indeed," Steven said, writing down that pickup line for future reference.

Jake smiled at her. "That's good. Welp, I don't think you would be interested in a wolf like me, so I'll see ya around." He turned around and made to leave.

"Wait, he still has to ask her out, he never fulfilled the dare," Dominic pointed out.

But Steven didn't care about the dare anymore, not when this had the potential to turn into a romantic blog post. "Aww, no, don't blow it now! This is a one of a kind chance!"

But before Jake could leave, the rabbit reached out to stop him. "No wait, I think you're kind of cute."

Tom stared at the scene for a moment longer. "Screw it." He howled.

"Oh god, Tom why?!" Steven freaked.

"Because it's funny?"

As Jake opened his mouth to respond, his ear twitched and he found himself howling up a storm instead.

Steven teared up, staining the notepad. "This...could have been something beautiful."

Mason started howling along.

"I don't think you get it, the bunny probably likes the howling. I'm helping him, Steven," Tom said reassuringly.

"Besides, if the howl kept going, Tom would be stuck too," Dominic pointed out.

He nodded sagely. "It's a price worth paying."

Chris suddenly jumped up. "Well..I..he..uh...well...you know what? That was the strangest thing I ever saw in a Truth or Dare game! Oh, and look at the time, I have to go train some more. Bye bye, everybody!" He waved and ran off.

And it only got stranger as the bunny swooned. "Ooooooh, I love your howl!"

Mason blinked. "Well...that backfired."

"How about this, I'll swing by your house sometime tomorrow, and we can go out for dinner," Jake suggested. "Sound like a plan?"

"I would like that," she smiled.

"Can I at least get a name, my pretty?"

"Claire. How about yours?"

"I'm Jake. Say, could I possibly get your number, because I believe I've lost mine," he winked.

"Certainly," Claire giggled, writing down her number for him.

Dominic turned to the others. "So that's two ZNN workers with rabbits now?"

"Yep!" Tom answered.

"Be sure to give him some advice, Mason," said Steven, already happy again.

"There's just one more thing I must ask before I go," Jake said. "Are you an orphanage, because I want to give you kids."

Claire punched him in the face. "DON'T YOU EVER CONTACT ME AGAIN, YOU SICK PERVERT!"

Steven screamed.

 _"That's_ what got to her?!" Dominic yelled.

Pascal just laughed.

Jake walked back up to the group, as carefree as ever despite the giant red mark visible on his muzzle. "Welp, that's the first time I've ever been punched by a bunny."

Steven sighed sadly. "There goes my new scoop." He crumpled up the page of his notebook and tossed it over his shoulder. "You could have been the new power couple."

Jake rubbed his face. "Who knew bunnies could punch so hard!"

"I was already coming up with ship names. RIP Namiclaire..."

"I think that went smoothly," he shrugged. "Disregarding the ending. Why did I think that pickup line would ever work?"

"To be fair, I think you might have dodged a bullet on that one," Tom said. "That bunny seemed...unbalanced..."

Dominic stared at the white wolf pointedly. "The other lines worked. What doesn't make sense is why you tried to use a pickup line...after you already got the date."

"I thought I would try new waters. Hell, the whole 'Nam spiel worked out well. Plus, bunnies really aren't my thing to begin with," he chuckled. "Granted she was kind of hot."

"Looks like you should've stopped while you were ahead."

"But there is a whole sea of potential mates out there waiting. I just lost one of many."

"Yeah, supposedly," Tom countered. "But that might've been the only bunny."

"Stop being such a pessimist, Tom!"

"Just an observation."

Steven patted him on the arm reassuringly. "It's okay, Nam. I'm sure you'll find someone."

Jake looked up to the sky wistfully, but with a sense of hope. "I will find the one, one day. One day."

"Hahah, well then. Next time take this as a learning experience. Know when to stop," Dominic advised.

Jake kept staring off into the abyss. "One day…one day…."

The officer frowned. "Okay, it looks to me like Jake is out of it now, so I guess our game is over for the day." He got up, stretching. "I'd like to relax for the rest of my day off then."

"Did you mean to say that in character?" Berserker asked.

"Yep."

 **End Session.**

* * *

 _As I said at the beginning, this RP could've been something very different entirely before I ended up turning it into a truth or dare skit. But I certainly wasn't expecting Namicle to then turn it into a tragic romance story. There really is no predicting how this kind of thing might turn out, but we sure had a blast!_

 _You might be wondering who played the role of Claire, the bunny who flirted with and ultimately punched Namicle. That role belonged to...Namicle himself. Are you really surprised?_

 _For the truth segments, a lot of us blended real life events with our zoosonas. So yes, I really did get the shit scared out of me by that damn ride from Disney World. I won't go any deeper into the other players, because that's rather personal._

 _And that ending? That's exactly how the session ended, fourth wall break and everything. Oops._


End file.
